


With my last breath

by Sparklyfairymira (myonetruelove)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, Character Death, Dad!Murphy, F/M, Heavy Angst, POV John Murphy (The 100), Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:20:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25062253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myonetruelove/pseuds/Sparklyfairymira
Summary: Murphy finds out he's going to be a dad as he's dying.
Relationships: Emori/John Murphy (The 100)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 41





	With my last breath

**Author's Note:**

> So I cried the entire time I was writing this and while I was reading it again so if there are errors that's why. Don't hate me too much. I came up with this while talking about s7 spec about Emori being pregnant and I was like, but what if Murphy dies. And this would NOT leave my head so I'm sharing it so that others can feel my pain. Again, sorry. On the upside, it's super short so it can't be that bad, right?

Murphy gasps for breath as he and Emori dive through the Anamoly, leaving the sounds of the fighting behind them. Another planet destroyed by men. Maybe ALIE had it right, maybe it was the humans that were the problem with Earth. They’d managed to destroy Earth more than once, making it inhabitable to anyone and now Sanctum was on its way to the same fate. There hasn’t been time for the others to explain what happened while they were gone and honestly, at the moment he could care less.

He is suddenly surrounded by water and it is only Emori’s hand in his that keeps him going forward, swimming to the surface. He’s in so much pain that it threatens to overwhelm him, but he has to hold on for her. As he finally breaks the surface he gasps for air.

“John? Are you okay? Can you swim to the shore?” Emori gestures with her head to where he can see his friends - no his family - waiting for them. They were the last ones through the anomaly, having been slowed down by Nikki deciding that he needed a bullet in his side and because he’d refused to leave until he was sure that everyone was through - someone had to hold them off. But he does want to make note of the fact that he did not need a bullet in his side, but unfortunately, he has one.

He tries to start swimming, but it pulls at his side where the bullet went through and he doubles over in pain. If it wasn’t for Emori holding him afloat he is sure that he would drown. Suddenly two strong arms wrap around him and he turns his head to see Bellamy as he begins to pull him towards the shore. “Awww, thanks for not letting me drown.”

“Shut up Murphy,” Bellamy spits out before turning his attention back to swimming them back to the shore.

And surprising even himself, Murphy does shut up. He looks up at the sky and sees a ring across the sky. Well, that’s different. The pain is beginning to lessen and he doesn’t need to be told that is not what he wants to be happening. He closes his eyes as his feet touch the bottom and he tries to help Bellamy drag him onto the shore, but his legs aren’t working right. He’s been close to death on more than one occasion and he’s afraid that this cockroach might be reaching his last breath.

He feels the ground on his back as Bellamy drags him onto the shore and Emori is at his side, holding his hand in hers. “John? Hold on John. Clarke and Jackson are here. They’re going to take a look at the gunshot, okay?”

Murphy tries to nod his head, but he can’t seem to get it to work. Fuck. Of course, they make it to a new planet that is supposedly not inhabited so that they can live out their lives alone and happy and he’s going to die before he even gets a chance to live on it. It’s just his fucking luck, isn’t it?

He manages to open his eyes, seeing Clarke and Bellamy kneeling on one side and Jackson and Emori on the other. Jackson and Clarke have pulled up his shirt and are looking at his wound. He can’t feel it anymore. He knows that their hands are on him, but all he feels is Emori’s hand in his. She’s the only one that matters.

But he sees the look in Jackson’s eyes as he shakes slightly his head at Clarke. Clarke grits her teeth, grasping onto Bellamy’s hand before she turns to look at him. “It’s going to be okay, Murphy.”

“No, it’s not.” Murphy tries to smirk, but he’s not sure how successful he is. “Don’t lie to me, Clarke. One cockroach to another, tell me the truth.”

There are tears in Clarke’s eyes as she meets his. “It’s not good. The bullet hit some organs, we can’t tell which from here. You’ve already lost too much blood. But we’ll take you back to the cabin and Jackson can open you up and we’ll try-”

“No.” Murphy shakes his head. “Why waste the limited supplies on a lost cause?”

“John, you can’t do this. You have to try,” Emori cries as she leans down to take his face in her hands.

“I can only avoid death so many times, Emori.” He manages to reach up and wipe the tears from her face. “You’ll be fine. You’ve got a family now - a place to belong. You don’t need me anymore.”

“I do need you, John. I need you more than ever-” Emori breaks off, closing her eyes for a moment before looking back to him. “I’m pregnant, John. We’re going to have a baby.”

It takes Murphy a moment to process her words and when he does he feels his own eyes well with tears. “You’re pregnant?” His eyes slip down to her flat stomach as if he could see inside, but he knows that he can’t. Holy shit, he’s going to be a father. He can’t think of a moment when he’s ever felt this happy.

But a second later reality is crashing back down on him. He’s dying and he’s going to be leaving his child fatherless. He wishes he could fight a little harder, force himself to live through this, but he knows that he can’t. He feels it in his bones - this is it for him. It was bad enough knowing that he would be leaving Emori behind, but now he’s leaving her and his child behind and that breaks his heart. He squeezes his eyes shut as the tears fall and he doesn’t try to stop them. When he opens them he looks to Emori and smiles.

“You’re going to be an amazing mom. Our kid is so lucky to have you.” Murphy squeezes her hand, hoping to soften the blow of his next words. “I’m sorry that I’m leaving you to do this alone. I wish I could be there to see what a badass our kid will become, but this is it for me Emori. I’m sorry. There’s no fight left to give.”

Emori shakes her head. “No, John. I refuse to believe that. You have to fight. Fight for me. Fight for our baby. I can’t do this without you.”

John turns his head to look at Bellamy and there are tears in his eyes as well. “Take care of them for me. Be there for them when I can’t, please?”

Bellamy nods. “You know I will. We all will.”

“And we’ll make sure they know about how amazing his dad was. Making sure that everyone made it to safety before he would go himself. That he was a hero.” Clarke grasps his hand in hers and squeezes. “You are a hero, Murphy. Thank you.”

He glances between the two of them for a moment. “Look, I’ve been waiting forever. Did the two of you finally get your heads out of your asses and get together while you were gone? Because I’m telling you right now, I’m going to haunt your asses if you haven’t figured it out by now.”

Clarke flushes and Murphy laughs for a moment before coughing, feeling liquid spill over his lips. “Well, at least that’s one thing I got to see before I died.” He turns his head back to Emori and all lightheartedness is gone. She is weeping beside him and he hates that he’s hurting her, but he knows that this is one thing he can’t spare her from. “I love you, Emori. You know that right? I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my whole life. You were it for me.”

Emori nods. “I know, John. I know. I love you so much.” She leans down and brushes her lips across his and he can taste the blood - knows that she can taste it too. “I’ll make sure that this baby knows all about you and how much you loved both of us. And I’m sorry you don’t get to meet them. You know you would’ve been a great dad, right? The very best.”

Murphy lets his eyes fall shut as he imagines what it could’ve been like - he and Emori having a child together. He likes to think that he would have been a good dad. It just sucks that he’ll never be able to know for sure. He forces his eyes open again to meet Emori’s and he tries to smile. “I love you.”

There’s more that he wants to say, but it’s getting harder to breathe. He can’t seem to take in enough air. He loves her so much. He wishes they had more time. He wishes that he could’ve found out if their baby was a boy or a girl. There is so much that he wishes for that he knows he can’t have. But he just hopes that the good that he’s done in the last few weeks is enough to atone for the bad that he’s done in his life. He hopes that he gets to see her again.

“May we meet again,” he mumbles as it becomes too hard to keep his eyes open.

He feels Emori squeeze his hand and her lips on his cheek. “I love you, John Murphy,” a whisper against his skin.

“May we meet again.” He hears from far away, not able to make out distinctive voices, but he knows that there are many. He’s thankful that he is able to leave Emori and their baby somewhere safe where they are loved and with family. His last thoughts are of them before he slips into nothingness.


End file.
